April 11, 2009

When you're going through hell...keep going! (winston churchill)

So, I must apologize for not posting any nice inspiring stories over the past couple months. I think it's been kind of a restructuring/reorganizing time for me. So I feel quite awake and alive this year. Especially over the past couple of months. It's really a great feeling. I'm not sure what exactly it is, but I kind of just woke up one morning, and was ready to go again. Back to my old "let's get this sh*T done" mentality.

I suppose what I can give you all the most is the notion that truly nothing you want to do, achieve, experience or be with is out of reach. You just need to move forward and take baby steps to get to the final leap. Then when you look back to when you took that first baby step you'll think two things... 1 - Holy Canoli (or possibly some other expletive) and 2 - that really wasn't as bad as I thought it would be.

One major thing I can look back on is when my left side was paralyzed from the 2nd stroke. So if you really think of it, there were two choices I had at that initial moment... either I could lay there and choose to not repair myself, or I could decide to not accept that I was stuck. My therapists were real with me and said, "if after a year you haven't gotten back all your movement, that's where your progress will end." At that year mark, I was still slightly limping, not able to fully type with both hands (I turned into a one hand typer;), and I wasn't able to put on my makeup with my left hand and honestly, still struggled with a lot of activities.

Well it's now 1 year and 10 months later and I really feel my only setbacks are hyper-extension on my left hand (it gets crampy and sometimes my fingers lock up after a lot of typing) and not able to run (not that I was ever a runner;) Don't get me wrong, I do still have weakness and struggle on the left side when I am tired, sick and believe it or not, hormonal - suck. BUT that's not every day out of the month, and hey, another reason to get me in bed early, I won't fight it.

When you're on your way, you might face walls you have to break and plateaus that seem like the final resting place, but don't stop breaking through and soon you'll find another hill to climb and you'll reach another peak.

NO MATTER WHAT YOU WANT, YOU CAN HAVE IT - You must try. I found even if I don't get what I originally wanted, I get something even better that I didn't even know I needed.

- K

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