January 01, 2011

reflections on 2010....

i've taken some random moments over the past week to reflect back on 2010. the word that sums it all up for me is change. i made conscious efforts to change the way i react to things, people and situations. this underlying thought process lead me to many wonderful moments over the past year.

the most recent being my new career path. it's been 4th months of crazy, unending challenges and i look back and know i have loved every second of it. i am one that needs to be constantly challenged and inspired to be the best i can be. the challenges this position presents me allow me to accomplish so very much and grow along the way. making this change has also lead me to a group of people who continue to make me reach out of my comfort zone and help me to reach past what i think i might be capable of.

the "change the way i do things" attitude i've upheld through 2010 has also allowed me to experience more selfless moments. i have always liked to give and make people happy, but i believe since having to rehab from my physical & emotional downfalls from my strokes, i had become accustomed to concentrating so very much on myself and just "functioning" that i got a little lost in myself and at times, forgot how important it is to think of others as well (without losing yourself of course). this gave me more balance.

the other thing my change in attitude brought me was more courage. now granted, i don't believe anyone has ever thought of me as frail, feeble or defenseless, but there are many things in my life i would not do at all or do without being extremely shaken inside. i may not be very good at hiding my passions or emotions, but i'm really good at hiding when i feel vulnerable. this new found courage and strength has freed me from missing out on life, feeling like a burden to others or irrational fears like flying or simply being me. i still feel some butterflies or have my weak moments, but never like i had before... no shakes, no sickness or tears, just occasional self doubt that i like to think just keeps me on my toes ;).

my inspiration to you for 2011 is this... give yourself a small mantra you can repeat in your head (or out loud, whatever you prefer ;) that makes you question for a moment if this is how you want to react to whatever you're encountering. one little shift of action, attitude or feeling and entirely change your life. do NOT be afraid of change! look around and reflect on all the wonderful things in life that seem to be the most beautiful! they are ALL about change! sunsets, eclipses, gems, snowflakes, seasons, water... on and on and on and on.

"be the change you want to see in the world" - Gandhi

much love, change, chaos, strength and beauty to you all...

i will continue to take this mantra of change with me throughout my life, now, for me, 2011 brings movement... "ONWARD"