finding balance...

since i can remember, i've loved alice in wonderland. i've seen, read, worn, studied everything alice... disney, lewis carroll, through the looking glass, essays, studies, satires, remakes, sci fi remakes, prints, t-shirts, pop-up books, costumes, presentations, therapy, escapism, jaberwocky, inspiration, artwork, music... EVERYTHING!!!!! needless to say, i've been anxiously awaiting the release on friday of Tim Burton's movie (so much that i was going to see the first midnight show on thursday by myself, but my mom wants to go too, so i'll wait :).

i've learned soooo much about the story and characters, it eventually made me wonder, why did i choose this as my "obsession" since i was a little girl? i then started to think about why i relate to it so very much. i do admit that i enjoyed the escapism it offered, but alice took that route too. there wasn't anyone in her life that really understood her, so she went into a world of her own. interestingly enough, a world she THOUGHT was a place that made sense to her, but made none at all. it was a place completely opposite of her "boring, structured life." "Everything is what it wouldn't be and what it wouldn't be it is" eventually this world she created becomes, scary, lonely and just too much!

i know i've done the same thing in my life and still have a tendency too (though i don't recall specifically falling down a rabbit hole, i can say my disasociative behavior could be the same thing... just not as fun ;)

my point is... finding balance. be ok with the fact that only you might be able to be the one who understands you... or seek out the company of others that at least enjoy all of you... even if they may not understand you. (i've found it may actually be the "weirdness" about you that keeps others' attention and makes them appreciate you even more).

life's too short to conform, the balance is... be who you are and bring that from your mind to the outside... you'll be amazed at how much more enjoyable your own little world can be when you share it.

xxoo
k

and why do we fall?

so we can learn to pick ourselves up...
(batman movie, but so true right?)

what gets you through the day? when you feel you're in the lowest place you've ever been, how do you pull yourself up? when you feel like you've been beaten into submission, how do you heal? is it the laughter from your kids, the hug from your mom, the safety of your spouse or understanding of a friend? no matter what picks you up, try and remember that it's always there. since life is filled with bowls of poop and isn't always the bowl of cherries we'd like it to be(or even slightly hardened raisins)it really is important to know what can turn it into the bowl of cherry garcia or new york super fudge chunk or rainbow sherbet for you.

also important, not to dwell... take your time, mourn, grieve, be angry... let it go...
experience the pain, hurt or emotion, then figure out what will improve your situation.

live in your passion, follow your dreams, refuse to let anyone bring you down, remember why you fell and learn to get back up!

xxoo
k

i am beautiful

a couple people in the past two days have made note of my european features (my roots are czechoslovakian, polish, bohemain and german with a sprinkling of UK & Canadian).
this is actually the first time in my 30+ years i've heard someone actually notice me as being specifically european looking. so it made me take a closer look at myself. i'm far from being narciscitic but have enjoyed looking at myself in a new light.

i studied my features from my cat eyes, pouty lips, little nose, rounded eyebrows and rosy cheeks. i think for the first time, i looked in the mirror and thought, "hmmm, i really am beautiful" i feel now like my light & beauty inside is shining through me to the outside.

it's really a liberating feeling. what makes you beautiful? look in the mirror and appreciate your beauty.

xxoo
k