K

OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG

2012-02-07T20:54:00.001-06:00

I GOT MY ARM BACK!!!!!! ok, so many of you know that i have a rare disorder known as sneddon's syndrome (http://www.sneddonsyndrome.org) ,. i have survived many ischemic attacks (mini strokes) and one more debilitating one in june 2007 which left my left side paralyzed from head to toe.

its been a while since anyone has been able to notice any "leftovers" as i call them from the big stroke, maybe a couple years or so. those that are close with me know i may drag my foot, drop things, my fingers lock up or my pinky goes off and shakes like crazy in meetings - like i'm drinking proper english tea ;)

besides the little things that sometimes show up if i'm extra tired, dehydrated, sick, hormonal, panicky, etc... i have still had lack of muscle movement or control in my shoulder muscles and triceps and other surrounding muscles. mainly my biceps and some lats have done most of the work. i've also had still lack of hip muscle, gluts and quad & muscles around my knee....

well here i am friends... tonight i went to stretch and my arm... it reached up all slow and controlled, straight up, no angle, just like the right!!!!!! i swear i'm so excited i can barely keep it down to type. i can barely believe it!!!! AAAAAAAAANNNNDDDDDDDD i can do a sit up!!! AND i went to walk up the stairs the other day and my knee shot up like i was on a spin cycle! so my hip muscles came back, then i sat down on the floor and saw that i was able to flex my muscles around my knee!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! there's new things i'm noticing every day and it's like a crazy feeling going through things babies must feel of discovery with all the aches and pains of an un-used body moving a 200 pound tv into a new apartment ;)

so...the doctors told me i would probably reach my plateau of healing after 12 months. it was then that i couldn't jump, strain spaghetti, bring an uncovered mug of coffee to the table without spilling or be comfortable carrying my neices or nephews.

don't EVER believe in "can't", if you believe in something don't EVER give up the fight!

AND THE ONLY TIME YOU'RE WRONG IS WHEN YOU THINK YOU GOT NOTHIN' LEFT.

xoxoxoxo
luvs
k

the holiday spirit is strong this year :)

2011-11-25T02:52:00.001-06:00

so i ventured out this evening/morning to save the most money possible. my husband was a bit worried - just knowing potential danger that's out there (i mean u do hear tons of freaky, ridiculous, selfishly horrible stories on the news). i wasn't going for crazy hi-ticket items, just the deals for friends & family - especially the kids.

well, i noticed online at about 10 pm that there was an AWESOME giveaway (which i won't mention 'cuz its a present) that was actually exACTLY what i decided to get one of the kids in my family at old navy at midnight.

i thought, hey, its worth a shot right? so i finished up some work for our own black friday sales and i headed out. i approached the algonquin commons area and it seemed pretty quiet (sans walmart traffic). then i got closer to old navy and i'm like....omg.... there's a lot of people. THEN, there's a lot of people in LINE! it was about 11:30 and the line was about 3 major big box store fronts long...i thought, hey, i'm goin for it, and if i can get this giveaway, well heck, this is a PERFECT present!!! i can't pass it up.

so i'm in line, in the company of hundreds, i'm one of maybe 4 or 5 people there alone. not too cold, but ok, cold for a light jacket, lined up at almost midnight outside of old navy. people are generally in good spirits. no one attacked anyone going in and we all made it in one piece.

i get counted as i go in. I'm thinkin' - hey could be good, they're still counting, that's possible for a giveaway! i get through the crowds, pick up what i need (and a couple things i don't) and get in the line (now starting to resemble a line for a ride at great america). a few steps in i think "hmmm, i should ask anyone if they know if there's any of this giveaway left" i overhear some people talking about a bracelet. wahhh wahhh :( i don't have a bracelet

there's a cute young, very well styled couple in front of me. i'm pondering just leaving now as they talk about going out drinking with his friends after she fixes her hair (which was perfectly gorgeous already), and then waking up (or not sleeping maybe) and getting back there at 6am, then... she has a game in the city she's asking him to drive her to in chicago later!!!! now i'm a bit work crazy at times and can go go go, but that's impressive. his girlfriend walks away to get more clothes that she says later she'll get reimbursed for from her parents. seriously, i think these are the cutest, most innocent, young souls i've ever encountered. so i hear him talking about the bracelet again. i told him, "you know you should be careful, if you don't want that and you're announcing you're selling it, you could get totally mobbed. i'd take it in a second" we laughed a bit. his girlfriend came back and he asked her if she would be ok with him selling it. she laughed.

i told him he could make some major cash as the giveaway was valued and worth quite a bit. he luaghed and said "selling for cash anyone?" no one answsered and a couple ladies said "do you take credit cards"? i just laughed with them both and listened a bit more. i said ya know if you're serious, i would seriously give you cash? he said a small amount and i said, i'll give you more than that, you're too nice!! so not only did he give me the giveaway bracelet, but his girlfriend made absolutely sure it would work out and made him stand at the register with me.

they were there at 9:30, waiting for 2.5 hours, still all smiles and gave away something they could have taken, sold or gotten more than 10% of what it was worth. no pushing, no questons, just simple good natured people. thank you old navy couple - you made mine and a few in my family very very very happy!!!

as i continued the trip to a couple more stores, i encuntered nothing but happy faces and kind words and sharing stories.

let's keep it up folks. this is a good feeling and this is a good place.

peace on earth, good will to men
luv u all
xo
k

i get by with a little help...

2011-11-20T10:30:00.001-06:00

there is nothing in the world that feels the same as laughing with your friends. everyone has so many different experiences, personalities and viewpoints they can bring to your table. the more you invite, the more colorful your world becomes. with love can come hurt. when you open yourself to others, you uncover a bit of vulnerability. but when i sit back and reflect, the small amounts of pain that may have occurred are absolutely nothing in comparison to the joy and light i have experienced.

take every good moment of time you can from the good times you share with the different little monsters in your life.

i am so very thankful for all of my wonderful friends. you all bring such joy and laughter to my life and without you all, i would be empty and lost.

luvs & hugs

k

2011-10-04T21:27:00.002-05:00

If you've had a rough day or night, just remember, you get to give it another go in the morning!!!
Hugs
K

its all about the marketing in the end...

2011-09-27T22:59:00.003-05:00

so, i was thinking, wouldn't a velcro closure, or a hidden belt of some sort, or maybe even buttons, or a zipper be an even more convenient, kick-butt, awesome feature of the snuggie?

however, at that point is it then just a robe?

then again, if they didn't have great marketers to brand the belt-less, button-less, zipper-less robe a "snuggie" and create a launch that hit every household in america and beyond via info-mercials, late night commercials, home shopping networks, drug stores, big box chains and as seen on tv stores, would it have been remotely as successful as it was/is and will be? i'd like to think not.

yet another case study leading me to further my already strong belief that what i do is essential to the success of whomever i'm doing it for. :)

so ladies & gentlemen, in the end, it's all about the marketing.
'cuz really what sounds more comfy to you... a backwards robe or a Snuggie!
:)

much luv & laughter
k

never close your eyes....

2011-09-18T15:36:00.003-05:00

if you're looking for inspiration, all you need to do is keep your eyes open. if you look close enough or look differently, you'll find so many marvelously inspiring things in your everyday lives. :)
xo
k

i'm considering a change

2011-09-14T07:28:00.006-05:00

i've noticed my extreme lack of postings lately and it isn't because i'm uninspired. i'm quite inspired as of late actually. so... i believe from here on out, i'm going to be not so focused on having to deliver an inspirational life lesson. instead i'm going to write what i feel, observe, create, etc. and those inspirational life lessons/stories should creep in inadvertently every once in a while.

however, sticking true to my artistic nature, i will always blog to evoke emotion and provoke thought in my readers.

do what makes you happy,
much love
k

don't worry...

2011-04-02T15:17:00.007-05:00

life is an ever-evolving landscape. it can be rough, overwhelming, joyous, passionate, amazing, painful and even more words possibly not even yet added to webster's dictionary. what is so remarkably wonderful about this life is that we're living it. WE get to make the choice to experience each moment exactly as WE want to.

there was a commercial that aired some years back (it was either for chiquita bananas or life insurance). it closed in on an elderly woman, (the cutest woman i've seen i might ad)and she says, "i have two choices when i wake up each morning; to be happy or not to be happy. i choose to be happy." i have a friend, actually a couple of friends who are memorably pleasant every single day, which in turn makes every experience i have with them, well...pleasant. they have each changed my life in different ways and i would love to do that for others.

i know there's a myriad of obstacles, changes, mishaps, diversions that can sidetrack us from the original focus for the day. how nice would it be to be able to wake up and say "i'm going to be happy today." if we decide to make this choice every morning, wouldn't it enevitably change how our entire course of our day goes? i think so. in fact i'm going to try it. if i choose to be happy every day, then no matter what comes my way, i imagine, my outlook and therefore the outcome will be better than what it would have been had i not made the "happy choice."

this all sounds a bit alice in wonderland like, but that's a world that makes sense to me.

reflections on 2010....

2011-01-01T20:55:00.010-06:00

i've taken some random moments over the past week to reflect back on 2010. the word that sums it all up for me is change. i made conscious efforts to change the way i react to things, people and situations. this underlying thought process lead me to many wonderful moments over the past year.

the most recent being my new career path. it's been 4th months of crazy, unending challenges and i look back and know i have loved every second of it. i am one that needs to be constantly challenged and inspired to be the best i can be. the challenges this position presents me allow me to accomplish so very much and grow along the way. making this change has also lead me to a group of people who continue to make me reach out of my comfort zone and help me to reach past what i think i might be capable of.

the "change the way i do things" attitude i've upheld through 2010 has also allowed me to experience more selfless moments. i have always liked to give and make people happy, but i believe since having to rehab from my physical & emotional downfalls from my strokes, i had become accustomed to concentrating so very much on myself and just "functioning" that i got a little lost in myself and at times, forgot how important it is to think of others as well (without losing yourself of course). this gave me more balance.

the other thing my change in attitude brought me was more courage. now granted, i don't believe anyone has ever thought of me as frail, feeble or defenseless, but there are many things in my life i would not do at all or do without being extremely shaken inside. i may not be very good at hiding my passions or emotions, but i'm really good at hiding when i feel vulnerable. this new found courage and strength has freed me from missing out on life, feeling like a burden to others or irrational fears like flying or simply being me. i still feel some butterflies or have my weak moments, but never like i had before... no shakes, no sickness or tears, just occasional self doubt that i like to think just keeps me on my toes ;).

my inspiration to you for 2011 is this... give yourself a small mantra you can repeat in your head (or out loud, whatever you prefer ;) that makes you question for a moment if this is how you want to react to whatever you're encountering. one little shift of action, attitude or feeling and entirely change your life. do NOT be afraid of change! look around and reflect on all the wonderful things in life that seem to be the most beautiful! they are ALL about change! sunsets, eclipses, gems, snowflakes, seasons, water... on and on and on and on.

"be the change you want to see in the world" - Gandhi

much love, change, chaos, strength and beauty to you all...
-k-

i will continue to take this mantra of change with me throughout my life, now, for me, 2011 brings movement... "ONWARD"

my christmas wish to you...

2010-12-25T13:07:00.008-06:00

merry christmas everyone! so far its been wonderful for me. shared some great times with family last night and tons of food. and doing the same today :) i just wanted to take some time and let everyone out there know some things i wish for you this christmas and upcoming year...

i wish you will...
be happy & laugh lots
be patient with yourselves
get love as much as you give love
share your joys and triumphs with those who surround you

i wish you keep...
an open mind to enjoy all possibilities
an open heart to experience love to no end
looking to the stars to strive for the highest goals
the spirit of giving in your soul all year long

i wish you understand...
triumphs can only really be felt if you've experienced tragedies
you get the most out of life the crazier it seems to be
one day, hour, minute or breath at a time
how short our lives on this earth really are, so make it what u want

most of all i wish you great love, joy, luck and lollipops ;)

love, laugh and live without fear!
merry christmas everyone...
luv u all!
xo
k

live in joy

2010-12-19T07:42:00.008-06:00

i had the most wonderful week! i didn't exactly know it when i was having it, but now as i look back it was an insanely exciting, joyful and interesting.

it started on monday with my plans not going... well... as planned. the horrible weather caused the roads by me to freeze up (my neighborhood is surrounded by farmland). so, this meant i was better safe than sorry by working from home. i was preparing for a business trip to iowa as well, so i was a bit nervous about how the roads would be (and yes, i will now take advantage of the 30 minute flight). a co-worker and i had a chance to meet with one of our most loyal and business savvy customers. i picked him up in cedar rapids and we visited our new friends at their store.

it was BEAUTIFUL. wonderfully merchandised, open and airy and she had so many tips and tricks on specific merchandise that is hard to move (but not for her ;). AND she took about 4 solid hours out of her already packed day of training new employees, running special santa sales in the store and education... to sit with us and give us all the feedback we asked for, information about the industry and her thoughts on what we could do to improve it. this was so unexpected and i am so grateful for such an experience. and how lucky are we that this was our very first store visit in our new positions.

next... came a shorter roadtrip to des moines to visit my very favorite-ist group of business partners! we're meeting another wonderfully insightful, strong & energetic co-worker there as well. first off, their agency got us an amazing deal at a choice hotel in the area - nothing we would have stayed at if we would have booked ourselves. it was so incredibly quiet, relaxing, warm, inviting and cozy! (with no-hassle, free wi-fi throughout - my favorite amenity!) the three of us started with a nice casual meeting over pizza getting ready for our next couple of days of intense information gathering. i learn so much from these two and find myself so wonderfully challenged by them to grow and move forward. then my night ends with a call home and a slo-mo landing into an enormous king bed fit for a queen ;)

wednesday morning... we get picked up by my account exec. (saving me parking fees and having to think too early and uncaffinated in the am) OH - and complimentary breakfast with custom omelet... then meetings upon meetings upon meetings with absolute EXPERTS in the industry!!!!!!! experts in their craft AND their business!!! the opportunities i gain from these relationships both personally and professionally is a dream come true. we continue our roundtables into the evening at a wonderfully decadent french restaurant over cheese flights, oysters, seared tuna, fillets, salmon, and more (not all mine ;) again, the night ends with that amazingly peaceful, plush and inviting hotel bed. (and my cheeks hurt from smiling and laughing so much all day/night)

thursday morning... the three of us meet for some coffee and then for a fun-filled drive to meet two of our new business partners for breakfast (at a french patrie shoppe no-less). i overindulged excitedly in a fromage omelet - yummmmm (brie and Roquefort.. forgive my spelling). more recaps, opportunities, excitement, etc. etc. etc. dropped my coworkers off at the airport and went onto drive home. though it was disconcerting, now i feel lucky i wasn't one of the 32 cars/semis and trucks that had landed in ditches and trees on I80. i get back into town after listening to a few hours of classic radio sci-fi shows just in time to beat the snow! i meet my ecstatic puppy and cozy hubby and get ready for a packed day at the office on friday.

friday - management meeting - great insight, input and feedback... saw my team who i missed immensely over the past week (and who i am so incredibly thankful for keeping things running)... and then got to end the week with a company christmas party! our presidents had wonderfully motivating messages for us, the food was super yum, HR team made it a most joyful affair and their were games and prizes to boot! ok, soooo THEN I WON, i won a sewing machine!!! everyone's dancing (even me-without my left side making me fall at all!) everyone's laughing and loving and enjoying each other's company! i would have never even imagined it all could have been this great! the night ended with some nachos and a couple planning talks with my co-workers who challenge me... but also inspire me, a pep talk that meant the world ;)

SOOOO - where once i was overwhelmed, stressed, etc. i am now insanely grateful, excited, inspired, enthusiastic, driven, motivated and more!!!!!! my main inspiration here is this...

life is truly what you make of it. do NOT allow those nasty tired "eeyore" voices in your head make you lose sight of every tiny and great joyous moment you get to experience in life!

live in joy and joy will find you

love you all and thank you for making my life more joyous!
xo
k

what am i thankful for?

2010-11-24T20:15:00.010-06:00

there's not enough bits or bytes of memory in the entire universe of of this vast internet space to fit all my thankfulness and gratitude!

i reflect back to times that have been difficult in my life and i'm actually thankful for these hard times as well. reason being, so much laughter, so much joy and connectiveness has come from those hard moments. what i'm most blessed with is an intensely loving and supportive group of family & friends that are always by my side. i have been able to not only just pull through hard times because of you all, but pushed through, conquered fears and grown from all these experiences.

i always encourage people to discover life, don't miss what's here for you to explore. be thankful you're alive, be thankful you have people to share these moments with and make more of them to remember!

be thankful for every tear, laugh, fall, triumph, tingle, journey and experience... THIS IS WHAT LIFE IS FOR!!!!!

love you all & thank you all!!!!!!!!
happy thanksgiving
k

some freeverse inspiration for you...

2010-11-17T20:14:00.007-06:00

it's weird to fly by moonlight

i'm closer to the stars i've been wishing on
they don't look so far away to me anymore
i dance among them and sparkle right back
the moon is no longer a distant friend
but he's more like a lover
i imagined existing in this dark center
surrounded by shimmering gold light
until now i didn't know the vision was my reality
now i know each dream, each 2nd sight,
each imagined scene is my destiny
i paint my path & walk down it with intense curiosity and mild fear
coll said the path of fear is the path of the warrior...
i'll battle it all for i've seen the outcomes &
my dreams are a wonderful future to be

flying by moonlight is where i should be

a candle loses nothing by lighting another candle

2010-10-03T08:20:00.006-05:00

a friend inspired me with this quote today. as my blog title says, i do believe i'm here to inspire others. "a candle loses nothing by lighting another candle" sums up exactly what my core being is about. the most rewarding times in my life are when i can brighten someone's life. if you share yourself to make others feel good...whether it is about themselves, something they're doing, or simply in general you fill yourself with a remarkable joy!

don't be afraid to share your gifts with those around you to make their day better or help them help others. relationships are one of the greatest gifts we all share. use your flame to help enlighten our world. your brightness will never dim, you'll just burn stronger!

xoxoxoxo
k

transitions

2010-08-17T17:36:00.019-05:00

so tomorrow i start a new job. today is my last day at my current job. these past months... from considering looking for a new job to accepting and soon entering the doors of my new "second home" i've been through just about every emotion known to man. i've been excited, scared, nervous, sad, hesitant, elated, revived, dejected, cautious, overwhelmed, happy, content, surprised, angry,proud and renewed.

i'm one to always hold the hands of my friends and encourage them to leave their "safe zones" or "comfort spots." when we reach beyond what we're used to is when we find our dreams. i've also always been one to strive to new heights, grow and improve myself in every way and be STRONG and most of all... get what i want :) what i'm walking into on thursday is what i want. i'm sooooo incredibly excited about this opportunity and it's almost surreal (i'm sure it will be even moreso once i get my hands dirty)! i guess, or i know, what i'm having the most trouble with is leaving my current "second home."

i've jumped around a bit in my career for a few different reasons, but mainly because i was just moving forward to find my dreams. the easy part in the beginning of my career was that some of the environments or people i worked with/for were, let's say, just not ideal... so it wasn't too hard to leave.

the place i'm transitioning from now has been my safe spot. the people i saw everyday were my second family. i got 5 years of laughter and tears, ups and downs, madlib days and days that were just maddening. no matter the situation or the day, these people and my comfy office were/was ALWAYS there for me. like my childhood bedroom and any apartment i've lived in, i leave behind scuff marks and holes in the walls of my office (and in some others' walls too ;)

i knew i would fall in love with my job, that's always been a goal of mine... to love what i do for a living. i never thought i'd love the people i work with this much. my closest and dearest relationships have been built in my office or down the hall to the next state over or across the world.

i know that i am able to make this next leap because of the strength and support i have gained from my current 2nd home (and of course all of you that are in my first home hehe). i have learned a myriad of lessons about work and life and myself here. i would not trade one minute here for anything.

so i'm off... onto the next chapter in my life. i go with excitement, enthusiasm, passion and a full heart. thank you all so much for everything you've done for me. just being in my life has been so rewarding for me!

love you all & i'll see you soon!
- k -

life is not measured by the breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away

2010-07-01T13:43:00.015-05:00

not sure if i've posted this which i'm re-borrowing again from a friend, but if i did, why not again? it's so meaningful, and like it says, breathtaking in itself. it's breathtaking to me, i think, because i live in passion. i can automatically relate and go to a time when i lost my breath. i typically move to the joyous or passionate moments, but it's also true that the hard times, the painful times, the ones we'd never want to relive make us who we are. and if we've survived them, then we've all lived the cliche... "what doesn't kill you makes you stronger."

imagine how much stronger and wiser you are now than you were 5, 10, 20 or more years ago. how much you've experienced, how much you've grown! how many incredibly remarkable or incredibly painful moments you've been through. ones you never wanted to end and those that you never wish happened.

every moment in our life is an experience you can learn from. it's about how you perceive those moments that create the meaning. don't allow any one to get away from you. how you perceive life's moments is something you actually DO have control over in this chaotic life.

what moment do you remember that may have not lasted longer than a second, but you remember it like it was hours? was it feeling a baby kick in a mother's belly? the first free road trip you took, or nighttime drive in a convertible? the brush of a hand or shoulder from a stranger you knew before? a warm tiny nuzzle and sigh from your little puppy? connecting with the eyes of a soul you'll know forever? the first time you saw the sun set over the mountains or the moon rise over the ocean? that delectable bite of a perfectly baked flourless chocolate cake? or maybe it was that kiss that you ached for in your dreams and it finally evolved?

whatever your moments are or were... MAKE MORE OF THEM!!!! our life is what we make of it, let's make it up with the moments we long for and love.

xxxooo
k

don't be scared to share

2010-06-25T07:36:00.005-05:00

i really have never been one to share, just ask my sister. or my cousin who lived with us for a while and ate my cheese... i never have let that one go matty! ;) however, i have always enjoyed giving, is that in a sense sharing? i get joy out of seeing people happy, especially those i love. recently i had lunch with a wonderful new friend. i shared a bit of "my story" with her. mind you, a bit faster than i normally would give the gory details. but the great thing is that she shared with me too. in 20 minutes we may have learned more about each other, and in my eyes, created a bond that can develop into something stronger than what many people have with their own family members!

we have to remember that we're not in this world alone. the difficult, challenging, crappy, nasty things we experience on any day whether now or in our past, have (believe it or not) been experienced by someone else as well! maybe the names and places have been changed, but the events remain the same. even our joys, likes, hobbies, and activities that feed our souls have been experienced by someone else! i challenge you to go out and find someone or some way to share your story! enlighten us all!

i have this blog so i can share my life, stories, challenges and creations that help me get through this life in the hopes i can help someone else shed light on their day if they need it. to me, if i can reach out to even just ONE individual, and change their life in a positive way, i continue to fulfill my purpose and can continue to inspire. i wouldn't be able to do this without those i learn from and those that share their experiences with me. we are all wonderful, beautiful creatures and ALL of our stories are important and all of our experiences are worthy of being heard. if you want to share your story, I'll post it!!! I want to be a platform for you to inspire .... kwickersheim@gmail.com or you can comment below and share yourself :)

let people know what you've been through... let people hear your pain, your joy, your humor and sadness... let others experience you! you are not alone, we are not alone.

much love... xxoo
k

From the Brave Girls Club...

2010-06-16T08:09:00.005-05:00

I get a little email snippit each day from this amazing website...
http://bravegirlsclub.com/
This is too good not to share, please read on :)

It's so important to seek out the beauty that life has to offer, or life can get quite unappealing.

It's so important to look for the good instead of the bad...and to see all of the wonderful little things all around you rather than letting yourself feel annoyed by other little things that really aren't important.

Try to find peace, and then remember that feeling and seek out whatever it takes to get back to that feeling when you seem off-track or uneasy. When life feels dark, just step into the light...one step at a time, and before you know it...the darkness is gone.

Every day there are a million choices competing for your time, your brain-space and your commitment....

Go where the peace is...go where the beauty is....go where the good stuff is. Most of it is just a choice... use the gift of choice wisely!

You know this stuff....just remember to remember it. :)

xxoo
k
thanks brave girls club!

What are you worth?

2010-05-25T21:05:00.009-05:00

If you’re a working girl or guy, you inevitably ask this question of yourself at least once a year. You may have a better idea of my point behind this post if you aren’t a working girl or guy, but you should still be asking yourself this question… What are you worth?

Most of us translate this into a monetary value, which in certain situations, is necessary. One thing to remember though, your monetary worth on paper means a heck of a lot less than your true worth to those you choose to share yourself with.

Most of those I share my life with are worth an absolutely immeasurable amount to me. My life, my heart, my creativity, my happiness is all due to you who are my friends & loved ones. My goal in life is to be just as important to all of you.

Yes… I know & agree, money matters, especially in these times. And if you work hard and do things right and make things happen you ARE worth more than those that don’t and you need to be shown that you are. But my point here is to just simply understand that your business and monetary worth is not ALL of your worth.

Your heart, strength, compassion, understanding, love and support are worth more to me than a trillion dollars. I hope to give you all at least 10% of that in return if not all of it!

remember giving so little of yourself could make such a huge difference in someone else's life.

Gracias apuesto ;)

xxoo
k

who inspires you?

2010-05-15T21:16:00.011-05:00

i've had a couple rough weeks. this being "said," i'm finding myself actually uninspired. however, i thought if i looked to others who inspire me, i could pass that onto you rather than inspiring you directly. win, win maybe? ;) so here's a number of quotes that i've heard or read that have gotten me through some days and hopefully lift me up through the next few xxoo -k

Our doubts are traitors, and make us lose the good we oft might win, by fearing to attempt.
-William Shakespeare

life is not measured by the number of breaths we take but by the moments that take are breath away.

Imagination is more important than knowledge.
-Albert Einstein

we are responsible for what we are, and whatever we wish ourselves to be... we have the power to make ourselves.

Do not anticipate trouble, or worry about what may never happen. Keep in the sunlight.
-Benjamin Franklin

I never think of the future - it comes soon enough.
-Albert Einstein

Heaven never helps the man who will not act.
-Sophocles

the only way to achieve the impossible is to believe it is possible.

If we all did the things we are capable of, we would astound ourselves.
-Thomas Edison

a desire can overcome all objections and obstacles.

The way to gain a good reputation, is to endeavor to be what you desire to appear. - -Socrates

It is foolish to fear what you cannot avoid.
Stultum est timere quod vitare non potes.
-Publius Syrus

don't be pessimistic, it's not your style.

Insist on yourself. Never imitate.
-Ralph Waldo Emerson

if you surrender completely to the moments as they pass, you live more richly those moments.

giving so little of yourself can make such a huge difference in someone else's life

feed your soul

Life is either a daring adventure or nothing.
-Helen Keller

one day at a time, rome wasn't built in a day.

It is the trouble that never comes that causes the loss of sleep.
-Chas. Austin Bates

you have a brain in your head and feet in your shoes, you can move yourself in any direction you choose.
-dr. suess

with patience comes inspiration...

2010-04-24T16:38:00.006-05:00

this quote's straight from me ;) years back in college, in my portfolio class, i had to develop a collateral piece about myself. i was always told by my instructors to push through when i was blocked or go back and rethink instead of just settling with the solution i came up with or giving up and moving on. that's where the quote came from for me, and still holds true today. when i wait, ponder, wonder, dream... the inspiration comes (or whatever else i'm looking for).

i believe this to be true, but i haven't yet learned to practice it. when i want something, i want it now. when something is wrong, i want it fixed, or i fix it now. when i want something about myself to change, or change something within my life/lifestyle i want to see results NOW! i don't really get why i am like this because normally, i consider myself a free spirit that is pretty laid back - actually as i type this, i know i'm not laid back. BUT i am a free spirit. maybe that's where i'm experiencing the issue - i'm a unique individual that thinks differently than many others, which is what i enjoy the most about myself. however, i'm extremely determined, headstrong, driven and purposeful. i have learned and am continuing to improve my patience when it comes to business and my worklife. i must admit though, when it comes to myself, my actions, my personal life, it's like i don't even know the meaning of the word sometimes.

i'd like to continue to pour patience into my everyday life. to understand when i tell myself "this will be a long ongoing process, but you will make the changes if you continue this path"- is the truth (i think i believe what i say it, but i've recently come to the realization, i may not). i will take my business and artistic process of patience and apply it to every day - the things i want, need, strive for, enjoy etc. they will come if i just believe what i've told myself for so long... "with patience comes inspiration."

my inspiration for you today is obviously about patience. i hope to inspire the many of you out there that are like me, and give great thanks to those of you that i learn patience from. i do believe it's a true and honorable virtue and takes many years and great perseverance to master. yet, when you do - your life will change and you will experience a new level of happiness.

xxooxxoo
k

little victories...

2010-04-06T07:52:00.016-05:00

for the past three years i've been slowly, but diligently (most of the time;) rehabilitating from my second stroke that knocked out my left side completely. i wasn't able to walk or move any part of my left side. cognitively, i was fine, but in the physical sense and emotional side of my brain, i was all twisted around. i've fought incredibly hard over the past three years, with a wonderful support group, to get to this point in my life where i'm feeling pretty whole again and in an even better mental/emotional state than i was before the stroke.

this week marked a huge turning point for me. because i finally feel strong and balanced enough to do so, i graduated myself from simple stretching and moving exercises to a full blown work out routine including core strengthening pilates, cardio and various strength exercises.

what has gotten me to this point is appreciating AND celebrating all the little victories that have gotten me here. here are some of the little things i reflect on and celebrate achieving that brought me here...

dragging my seemingly disconnected left leg along with the rest of my body the 3rd day in the hospital
forcing my crabbiness into raising my middle-left finger in rehab
visualizing my muscles working in my arm allowing me to put the peg in the whole
walking a straight line
walking up and down a step without a walker
riding the stationary bike for 30 minutes
eating without flinging food anywhere (though reared its ugliness one more time in the middle of a restaurant with an avacado)
matching the grip strength of my left hand with my right hand
not feeling embarrassed
watching fireworks on my friend's deck the day i got "sprung"
DRIVING!!! all by myself! while at the same time truly missing my mom as a chauffeur (but now i can drive her around)
giving roy a hug with both arms :)
sleeping without a brace
ASKING FOR HELP
sleeping in the same bed with my hubby (as long as my insomnia isn't kickin)
cutting my own food
hanging my clothes
breathing and taking a break if i can't do something instead of getting pissed off
pulling up my pants with both hands
tying my shoes
taking a bath by myself
typing with both hands
taking a shower
loving myself a bit more each day
not using a scooter at my tradeshows (though it was fun, i prefer to walk tall)
wearing heels again!
lifting my hip
baking
grocery shopping
going a full week, month, year (knock on wood) without injuring myself or falling down
working a full week AT the office
taking a breath and not over-reacting
finally being diagnosed
getting ready in less than 2.5 hours
walking my dog, vegas
doing my hair
understanding my diagnosis and what i can do to avoid further issues
walking heel toe with my left foot ALL day
not being afraid
and the list goes on and on and on & will continue to grow

the inspiration i ask you to take with you today though is understanding that accomplishing something is all about the little victories you achieved to get you there. it's almost like making sure you take time to smell the flowers... be present and aware of all that you overcome, even if it's as simple as not spilling coffee or being able to get to work 5 minutes earlier than usual, or making dinner - it's all the little things that are the most important in life.

love you all and thank you all for helping me get to this huge point in my life!
xxoo
k

...our finger prints don't fade from the lives we've touched

2010-03-14T15:26:00.007-05:00

once again inspired, i steal a quote from a friend for this post...
"i've learned people forget what you said, people forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel." i live so much in my passions that i realize i typically feel my way through life. i've walked, crossed, followed and escaped many paths with many different characters. as these faces pass across the movie screen in my mind, each one evokes a new emotion for me. some made me feel wanted, worthy, respected, loved, happy, or appreciated and others left me feeling gross, angry, wasted, lifeless or blue. needless to say the latter were those whose paths i escaped. and i'm so lucky to say those paths i share now in my life are those of the characters that make me feel warm, sexy, funny, respected, smart, creative, appreciated and so on! that's how i want to feel. those are the people i hold so incredibly dear to my heart and wouldn't trade them for anything at anytime!

to bring us back to the quote... no matter what these great people that i have in my life have said or done to me or for me - even if i may not exactly remember the words or actions - they've always left me with these wonderful feelings.

how can you make someone feel? take a moment and ponder that, enjoy it and go out and be appreciated for it...

when i close my eyes and each one of you that i appreciate passes my movie screen, i feel you when i see your faces.

xxxooo
k

(the blog title is from the new movie "remember me" http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1403981/)

finding balance...

2010-03-03T23:05:00.004-06:00

since i can remember, i've loved alice in wonderland. i've seen, read, worn, studied everything alice... disney, lewis carroll, through the looking glass, essays, studies, satires, remakes, sci fi remakes, prints, t-shirts, pop-up books, costumes, presentations, therapy, escapism, jaberwocky, inspiration, artwork, music... EVERYTHING!!!!! needless to say, i've been anxiously awaiting the release on friday of Tim Burton's movie (so much that i was going to see the first midnight show on thursday by myself, but my mom wants to go too, so i'll wait :).

i've learned soooo much about the story and characters, it eventually made me wonder, why did i choose this as my "obsession" since i was a little girl? i then started to think about why i relate to it so very much. i do admit that i enjoyed the escapism it offered, but alice took that route too. there wasn't anyone in her life that really understood her, so she went into a world of her own. interestingly enough, a world she THOUGHT was a place that made sense to her, but made none at all. it was a place completely opposite of her "boring, structured life." "Everything is what it wouldn't be and what it wouldn't be it is" eventually this world she created becomes, scary, lonely and just too much!

i know i've done the same thing in my life and still have a tendency too (though i don't recall specifically falling down a rabbit hole, i can say my disasociative behavior could be the same thing... just not as fun ;)

my point is... finding balance. be ok with the fact that only you might be able to be the one who understands you... or seek out the company of others that at least enjoy all of you... even if they may not understand you. (i've found it may actually be the "weirdness" about you that keeps others' attention and makes them appreciate you even more).

life's too short to conform, the balance is... be who you are and bring that from your mind to the outside... you'll be amazed at how much more enjoyable your own little world can be when you share it.

xxoo
k

and why do we fall?

2010-02-26T12:04:00.003-06:00

so we can learn to pick ourselves up...
(batman movie, but so true right?)

what gets you through the day? when you feel you're in the lowest place you've ever been, how do you pull yourself up? when you feel like you've been beaten into submission, how do you heal? is it the laughter from your kids, the hug from your mom, the safety of your spouse or understanding of a friend? no matter what picks you up, try and remember that it's always there. since life is filled with bowls of poop and isn't always the bowl of cherries we'd like it to be(or even slightly hardened raisins)it really is important to know what can turn it into the bowl of cherry garcia or new york super fudge chunk or rainbow sherbet for you.

also important, not to dwell... take your time, mourn, grieve, be angry... let it go...
experience the pain, hurt or emotion, then figure out what will improve your situation.

live in your passion, follow your dreams, refuse to let anyone bring you down, remember why you fell and learn to get back up!

xxoo
k

i am beautiful

2010-02-19T22:33:00.005-06:00

a couple people in the past two days have made note of my european features (my roots are czechoslovakian, polish, bohemain and german with a sprinkling of UK & Canadian).
this is actually the first time in my 30+ years i've heard someone actually notice me as being specifically european looking. so it made me take a closer look at myself. i'm far from being narciscitic but have enjoyed looking at myself in a new light.

i studied my features from my cat eyes, pouty lips, little nose, rounded eyebrows and rosy cheeks. i think for the first time, i looked in the mirror and thought, "hmmm, i really am beautiful" i feel now like my light & beauty inside is shining through me to the outside.

it's really a liberating feeling. what makes you beautiful? look in the mirror and appreciate your beauty.

xxoo
k

when it is dark enough you can see the stars...

2010-01-15T11:43:00.007-06:00

my inspiring friend said this (my blog title) and it truly got me through the week. So I thought I'd spread the encouragement!

getting ready for the big show? feeling crazy? feeling like it will never end, the supplies will never get delivered, the make n takes will get lost, your booth will be set up in the wrong location, you'll have no product????

not to worry - or don't worry, or don't panic, or something like that. i'm in the same boat peeps. those of you who have no clue as to what CHA is, know this... it's the pinnacle show for all of us in the crafting world. crazy, intense planning goes into this show and for months on end it seems to never end. just when you think all is worked out and flowing right, there's that inevitable wrench thrown into the gears that throws everything into a tizzy.

BUT just a reminder to those of you with a week left (or others working on a crazy long, intense project) it will work out, it will go fine, all will be in place and soon you'll be hugging and smiling with everyone you meet. (again to those non-crafters, i swear this is the friendliest industry in the world, we love to hug).

how can i be so confident? just because, i have faith and an AWESOME team to make it all happen or help me fix things that go wrong. there's a reason we have so much stress planning for this show and feel insanely alienated from our supportive families right now, it's because we can handle it all and we do always make it work.

besides, in the end, no matter what, it will all be ok. just remember....

when it is dark enough, you can see the stars
thx mm

xxoo
k

now this is my kind of inspiration...

2010-01-04T09:33:00.002-06:00

completely primal post, this picture should not be kept a secret, so i'm spreading the joy...
xxoo
k

look past what scares you...

2009-12-28T09:37:00.002-06:00

LADY GAGA IS MY VOICE.
she is my new obsession. if someone wants to know more about who i really am in my heart, learn more about lady gaga. not what you see on the surface, but what she's truly about. i see her as a combination of two of my most obsessed over artists... ANDY WARHOL & MADONNA. if they had a child, it would be LADY GAGA. i have become one of her "little monsters."

you may see or interpret her as another pop-artist, an excessive manufactured chick on the scene. you couldn't be more wrong.

no one like her could be manufactured. she is a true artist. she wants to liberate with her ideas and she is "an artist of liberation!" she says... "i don't care what people think of me, i care what they think of themselves!"

if you look close, or beyond what scares you, you will be inspired by something. she gives to us so much... music, art, beauty, editorial, expression, fashion, love, anger, dirtiness, passion, freakiness and peace.

LADY GAGA stirs up passion & inspiration inside me i have not felt in a long time, if at all. she is art, she is an entity of passion and liberation and commentary on our culture.

open your mind and look beyond what scares you. entice yourself to experience a part of yourself or the world you may have dismissed, you will be surprised.

get ready for more, this GAGA monster has been born!

xxooxxooxxooxxooxxooxxooxxoo
k
http://www.ladygaga.com/badromance/defaultdb.aspx

surviving the holidays... fa ra ra ra ra

2009-12-23T09:36:00.003-06:00

just a few words of inspiration to survive the holiday weekend. "What? Survive?" you say... oh c'mon, yes we all love the food, family, lights and laughter... however some of us, if not all also encounter the usual dysfunctional family situations that every year we swear will not bother us, and inevitably they do. here's a few tips...

1. imagine everyone in their underwear - ewwwwww no, gross, just kidding
2. i've learned this from a couple friends of mine, just sit back and observe the "going ons" like you're a fly on the wall rather than part of it. it all is actually pretty funny and ridiculous when you take yourself out of the situation.
3. have an extra glass of wine or shot instead of an extra cookie - you avoid gaining the extra weight, get plastered enough to not care and only have to sleep the effects off instead of run them off.
4. just remember, it will be over soon, so take every bit of joy you can from it!
5. tell a pirate joke - here's one courtesy of my dad... "a pirate walks into a bar, the bartender looks at him and says "hey buddy, you've got a steering wheel stuck in your pants"... the pirate says "aRRGH, it's drivin' me nuts!" lmao
6. if you must - ignore it all, go to your happy place (i'm tellin ya though, if you stay present, you could really pick up on some good comedy).
7. this is something i think you have to be practiced in, or be prepared for the consequences, but for a friend of mine, it really seems to work... because you know how to push your relatives' buttons, go ahead and do it (not nagging, but subtly). Like, bring up a subject you just know will set them off and watch them go batty ;)just observe, listen and report back to your friends, do not interact with the battiness you have created, I REPEAT, STAY NUETRAL, that's the whole fun of it. hehe
8. my fav... i play this little game when i'm bored or people watching, inspired by a friend of mine. first, think of the funniest person you know, 2nd, entitle your game "What would (insert name of the funniest person you know here) say?", 3rd, think (don't say! keeping to yourself is half the fun) and do what the title of the game tells you to do.
9. seriously - enjoy every bit of it you can, there is purpose for all of this in this life, if nothing else, it is to improve the world, the lives of others or ourselves. merry christmas, happy hannakah, kwanza, solstice, new year etc. etc. -

peace, love & laughter!
k

let passion flow

2009-11-27T13:03:00.006-06:00

i have recently become more in tune with my deeper senses. i also have enjoyed learning to enjoy and share who i really am rather than mold myself to be something i believe others want me to be. during these recent "revelations," i have realized how deeply i feel about pretty much everything i encounter in life. it really is a wonderful to let the love, intensity, curiosity and passion flow through me. i can feel it physically and mentally.

it's interesting to me that i have not realized this before now, but i do believe certain situations or circumstances reveal themselves to you at certain times in your life for a reason. though my life, i feel, is filled with amazing explorations, there can be downfalls to this "gift" as well (but pale in comparison to the positives). For instance, i have been known to be quite sensitive to myself and others. i've had to learn whether i'm feeling my own emotions or those of my present company and to set up boundaries of when i let myself tune into others and who i let "tune in" to me. i'm just starting to learn this part, but find it quite intriguing.

don't be afraid of the intensity of life, emotion and passion. don't be afraid to show your joy or fears or disdain with what you encounter. and most of all, don't be afraid to be yourself, this is something you can do better than any other (-anonymous)

love, passion and joy to you all
xxoo
k

see with an eye that feels, feel with a hand that sees

2009-11-09T10:49:00.006-06:00

seriously, 2 months? ridiculous, no excuses (though i have a million) anywho, a few things i'm totally stoked about: madmen season finale was the BEST, i am in love with walmart's grape flavored knock off of crystal light, going to utah this week for business (but personally super excited to see mountains like i've never seen), my friend amie fixing my bathroom painting and - once again - cha winter.

inspiring activity challenge: find something dirty, or "ugly" or scummy and find something beautiful in it, look at it with a new set of eyes. freshen your point of view.

find something that makes you happy or leaves you with a sense of accomplishment and pride (hopefully this will then make you happy). i'm mainly talking about work - which may take longer than you'd like and not give a sense of immediate gratification, but then how incredibly gratifying will it be when you actually find it??? look hard, work hard and NEVER settle for anything less than what you want. if contentment is your want, that's just dandy. if exuberant elation is your goal(like mine) than go for it!

what you want is ripe for the picking, you simply need to reach out and grab it

xxoo
k

women are wonderful

2009-09-20T14:26:00.009-05:00

when i was younger, i didn't understand how important bonds between women are. i used to say "i'm more of a 'guys' girl, i just seem to get along better with them." I still like to hang with the guys and think a lot the way they do, but there's nothing that can hold up to my time with the girls. the older i get, the more i know and appreciate how important it is for a woman to have a strong group of women friends.

it's innate in us to compete, compare and covet. it will always be a goal of mine to change this way of thinking. to love who we are, not to compare and to only compete when it makes sense (an example of non-sensible competition would be who can get the most stares when they enter a room).

there's a part inside of you that may feel vulnerable & weak if you open up or look to a girlfriend to lean on. don't be afraid, we need each other, we need someone who knows how important a good cry is, how fun it is to shop for a millionth scent of lotion or a thousandth pair of black shoes that you don't need. someone who understands that a bright store filled with thousands of pieces of jewelry made in some other country makes you feel like you're walking into a candy store for the first time as a 5 year old is a priceless bond.

to know & trust someone who knows what it means to "do it all" but not realize that's what she's really doing is a must have to get through the days where we have to do more than "it all." please also be someone that we can trust and look to for support.

women are wonderful, all of us, everywhere.

xxoo -
k

blue skies, good tunes & open road

2009-09-07T12:44:00.004-05:00

what more could you want? i'm reading a lot from my friends' posts about enjoying the simple things. i always find the most peace in things that are easy to get, so i'm making a list here and maybe you'll find something that strikes you as enjoyable and try to incorporate it into your day...

play a game of mad libs (try to find online, or just email me, i have tons) this always makes me laugh until i almost wet my pants;
open all the windows in your house and lay in front of one, or in the middle of the room and feel the breeze on your skin while you take deep breaths in;
turn off the tv or radio just for a few minutes and enjoy the peace;
don't worry about your "schedule" for the day, if it doesn't get done, oh well!;
take a picture of your favorite thing in your house to look at and put it in a little frame at work (or put it in a luggage tag and hang from your rear view mirror);
sit outside or lay on the grass and stare at the clouds (don't forget to blink);
put in your favorite movie and watch it from beginning to end without breaking for any chores, emails, phone calls etc.;
turn off your phone & computer for 2 hours;
get in the car with a favorite mix of songs or cd (or tape ;);
open up all the windows and just drive (farm/country roads are the best);
eat a meal that doesn't have ingredients in it that you can't pronounce (even if it's just scrambled eggs or a turkey sandwhich;
take time out to do your own nails & a home-made face mask like we all used to do in high school/college;
talk to a friend on the phone for a while and laugh;
enjoy a snack/dessert with no guilt, no counting, no thinking - just savor it;
do or say something you've been wanting to do or say, but have been afraid to;
whistle;
make raspberry noises;
write in a journal;
take extraordinary pictures of ordinary things;
be still; hug; kiss; love;
dream.
xxoo
k

want to enjoy life more? (a bit of a rant)

2009-08-24T07:21:00.004-05:00

i'm currently working on making my marketing emails less prone to never being read with asking a question in the subject line rather than telling them the subject and letting the reader make their own conclusion. i suppose my title here though is not very open-ended, thus also creating a lack of interest in reading further. HOWEVER, who wouldn't want to enjoy life more? i can think of a few that prefer to live in the lap of negativity & misery rather than joy & luxury. what a waste, huh?. i think melancholy is just their state of comfort, or their safe spot.

well you may try to pull these people out of their depths, but after a couple times, let it go. don't allow them to suck the energy out of you (i call them energy vampires, you may have heard the term). there are those of us made of light and those of made of nothing who try to misappropriate our light. i'm not saying these people are necessarily bad, most times they have no idea what they're doing. it is up to us "people of light" to be aware of those around us that drain us. either stay away from them all together, or simply know that when you are around them, you will have to take time to replenish yourself after you're done with them (or rather, they're done with you). sometimes i even put up an imaginary bubble shield around me. that seems to help at times.

so to my initial point... i want you to ask yourself how open-minded you are. i think it's an overused and often times misunderstood word. just because you might be liberal or say you're democratic or simply open-minded, you may act as an open-minded individual. i have very strong belief systems in all aspects of my life. many people don't agree with me, but that's ok, because my beliefs are mine and no one else's, this is my life to live. that's another thing i believe, what makes this world...this america...this one life that we are currently living so remarkable is that we get to choose any path we want, any life we want, any action we want, any thing we want.

so please, act open-minded, appreciate others' points of views - even if you wholeheartedly disagree - you might learn something or enjoy a new experience. OH, and if you encounter one that shoves their opinions down your throat or acts as though you're stupid because you think differently, try to ignore them, your efforts to debate or change their minds will be futile. don't waste your light on close minded individuals.
xoxo -
k

CHA

2009-08-21T18:44:00.003-05:00

Can I just say how excited I am about the next CHA? That's all, super excited to go to Anaheim and super excited for the big show and to see all my girls again!
xxoo
k

my web

2009-08-19T10:51:00.005-05:00

hi everyone! i was and am still just overcome with happiness with all the warmth and well wishes and attention i've received for my 33 birthday (multiples of 3 and simply 3 are my favorite numbers, so this is my favorite birthday)! thank you to you all!

the last couple years has been almost tumultuous to say the least. i know i'm a fighter and will always overcome any obstacle, but the reason i am able to do this is because of my web of friends and family that support me. from those i grew up with to ones i work with, you all bring me joy, laughter, and inspiration.

i will always fight and i will always win because of all of you!

thank you :)
xxoo
k

finally back...

2009-08-14T19:51:00.002-05:00

hello everyone!
still laughing here, but even moreso creating, crafting, typing, learning and makin' it happen. that's my recent motto "make it happen." it's a super busy time for us at work, but incredibly fun as well. a co-worker and i were talking today about what an individual (a driven individual at least) is truly capable of when they really need to pull from deep inside. i feel that i'm approaching another level in my life, higher than before, or i'm just there and feeling it. it's so great when something you foreshadowed once as being almost impossible just kind of... happens. as you continue to learn and grow and experience all new and different aspects of life, know that you will call upon them some day and it will make your life that much easier. and don't forget to sit back and look at yourself from the outside, you might be pretty pleased with what you see. - so make it happen!
xxoo
k

laugh laugh laugh

2009-05-18T21:33:00.003-05:00

hola everyone - i seriously think that one will live longer if one laughs more. so laugh laugh laugh! i honestly laugh, giggle, snort and smile quite a bit. one thing i have not yet subscribe to is something i think called a laughing circle or laughing calls? it's something my sister told me about. every morning, she and a group of her friends get on the phone and just laugh with each other. scientifically laughing and having an orgasm are two of the BIGGEST stress relievers one can engage in. i personally think a good piece of dark chocolate is right up there too ;) SO, my sis was part of one group, then she actually started her own. something i just encourage everyone to check out.

or at least just laugh a little more - here's somethin for ya...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6eLw3xZ7GHs

luvs!
k

When you're going through hell...keep going! (winston churchill)

2009-04-11T23:05:00.004-05:00

So, I must apologize for not posting any nice inspiring stories over the past couple months. I think it's been kind of a restructuring/reorganizing time for me. So I feel quite awake and alive this year. Especially over the past couple of months. It's really a great feeling. I'm not sure what exactly it is, but I kind of just woke up one morning, and was ready to go again. Back to my old "let's get this sh*T done" mentality.

I suppose what I can give you all the most is the notion that truly nothing you want to do, achieve, experience or be with is out of reach. You just need to move forward and take baby steps to get to the final leap. Then when you look back to when you took that first baby step you'll think two things... 1 - Holy Canoli (or possibly some other expletive) and 2 - that really wasn't as bad as I thought it would be.

One major thing I can look back on is when my left side was paralyzed from the 2nd stroke. So if you really think of it, there were two choices I had at that initial moment... either I could lay there and choose to not repair myself, or I could decide to not accept that I was stuck. My therapists were real with me and said, "if after a year you haven't gotten back all your movement, that's where your progress will end." At that year mark, I was still slightly limping, not able to fully type with both hands (I turned into a one hand typer;), and I wasn't able to put on my makeup with my left hand and honestly, still struggled with a lot of activities.

Well it's now 1 year and 10 months later and I really feel my only setbacks are hyper-extension on my left hand (it gets crampy and sometimes my fingers lock up after a lot of typing) and not able to run (not that I was ever a runner;) Don't get me wrong, I do still have weakness and struggle on the left side when I am tired, sick and believe it or not, hormonal - suck. BUT that's not every day out of the month, and hey, another reason to get me in bed early, I won't fight it.

When you're on your way, you might face walls you have to break and plateaus that seem like the final resting place, but don't stop breaking through and soon you'll find another hill to climb and you'll reach another peak.

NO MATTER WHAT YOU WANT, YOU CAN HAVE IT - You must try. I found even if I don't get what I originally wanted, I get something even better that I didn't even know I needed.

- K

Happy V-day

2009-02-14T10:55:00.002-06:00

This is one holiday that Roy and I don't celebrate (previously much to my shagrin). We use to exchange cards here and there, but now we say happy v-day and try to get some alone time if we can. Being a hopeless romantic - I always was enticed by the idea of being lavished with chocolates, flowers, nights on the town etc etc. Don't get me wrong, those things are still great and I wouldn't turn them down, but I would NEVER trade them for the everyday thoughtful things Roy does for me. I ask all of you to think of someone you love today and think of all the thoughtful things they do for you on an every day basis even if they may not be giving you flowers or chocolates today...

Here's my list about Roy that may inspire you with appreciative thoughts of your own...

he calls me every morning to say hi and have a good day (and at lunch), he cleans the house top to bottom before it even needs it, he vacuums, dusts, shovels, pays bills, does laundry, sweeps garage, cleans the bathrooms, checks the attic for leaks, changes furnace filters, cleans humidifiers, cleans cars, walks the dog, fixes cars, works at a less than desirable job - ALL WITHOUT ASKING, hugs me every day, makes me laugh when I need it, kisses me gently, brightens my painting spot, buys me dinner, charges my phone, likes the cubs, lets me keep lifetime on even when he's in the same room, carries my books, lets me be me and most importantly...loves me.

i couldn't ask, wish or dream for anything more. - love you roy!

and much love to all of you out there that do so much for me and have done so much for me through the past couple years and our hardships - and my whole life - happy v-day :):)

luvs xxxooo
k

speak your truth

2009-01-24T08:59:00.003-06:00

my sister has been a speaker of her truth for as long as i can remember. especially for other people - like myself, she always spoke up for me when i was afraid. now she does it for herself. i've always believed in it and appreciated it and at most times in my life feel i have spoken my truth. but until recently, i don't think i really have understood the real impact of speaking your truth. when you actually do say something that is, in a way, eating at you and it finally creeps out, you feel free, and in a way, more alive.

i have a habit of playing out situations in my head. over and over and over and over...usually it takes a while before i actually make the situation occur because i fret about "saying the right thing" or acting the right way. i think, to be truthful, i'm more afraid of the response not being what i expected, leading me to be out of control of the situation i've so overplayed in my head. i recently realized it's a waste of time - all that "playing out" and fretting.

i think i'm actually, i know, i'm happier with the results that have occurred after i've finally spoken my truth than what i've expected to happen.

that's about it - speak your truth & really mean it - to everyone you know. you are you and you must be proud of it and OWN it. your thoughts are an integral part of who you are.

so if any of you have anything to say to me, tell me. i'm here with open ears. (and eyes if you type it hehe)

LOVE you all, that's my truth

blizzard after blizzard after blizzard

2009-01-13T16:52:00.002-06:00

Gosh I can see how easy it could be to develop what they've named "seasonal anxiety disorder or depression." I have honestly been loving the snow, I jump around with Vegas in it, but today is BITTERLY cold! One thing I do enjoy however is the crispness of the air, and how everything just looks brighter. And by reading my blog, you know I always try to look on the bright side of things, isn't it nicer to look out your window and see the moon reflecting off the crystally white snow than the slushy dirty greyness we have been getting in the Winters of the past? - OK I'm human too, that's my bright side but MAN IT'S COLD & I look forward to Spring.

What I'd really like to "blog" about today is again, friends - I've been able to connect with so many people from my past on facebook that I honestly wouldn't think I'd ever be able to talk to again. One person today especially comes to mind. We have been friends, whether we've talked or not, for almost 20 years. This person will always have a deeply embedded place in my heart. I've always seen a joy, warmth, passion and creativity in them that always made me smile. There were days I cried for them because I knew they were going through rough times, or couldn't see their own greatness and understand that they deserved nothing but the best from life and those around them. But as a friend, sometimes you just have to let go or even walk away. Sometimes the timing in life is just wrong and doesn't allow them to really hear you. And if you truly do love them, you'll let them know you'll be there when they need you.

Even if you don't connect, putting yourself out there, just so that person knows you're there can make a universe of difference. I know it has for those that have done so for me. I have made it a point in my life to disconnect from those that have brought me negativity and bad energy. I call those people vampires (not the cool kind). They plug into you and SUCK your energy so you have no more. Hey, I need all I can get and the ones I love deserve it more than those that don't love me.

So my old friend, if you read this, know I'm always here and always have been. To all my current friends, or those that are just reading and don't know me...allow yourself to be loved and let your love be known. Like with kids, there's a point you have to let them fall down, but let them know you're there to help them up.

xxoo - k

My friends

2009-01-10T17:48:00.003-06:00

This post is generally about life. A message from one of my friends on facebook struck me as inspiring tonight. As most all of you know, I have had some health issues over the past couple years. I feel strongly about my success in overcoming them and continuing to heal. Much of this is due to my inner strength, determination and refusal to give up. But, most of it is because of my support system, my friends & family - the ones who won't let me stay down. The ones that share their ups and downs with me. They empathize with me, cry or laugh with me about our downs and smile about our ups.

Life can be hard, it can be tragically hard at times. However, how we choose to get through the hard times is what makes us who we are. If you're having a hard time, just take a deep breath and know that I'm here for you as I'm sure others in your life are as well. Let someone know, swallow the pride and ask for a hug if you need.

Life is a roller coaster, there are ups and there are downs, but the ride sure is fun so enjoy it while you can.

love you all - k

push push push

2009-01-08T07:30:00.004-06:00

(had to share one of my baby pics, it just makes me smile :):):)

what a beautiful day! i have many happy things flowing through my brain this morning - but i have to say i am inspired this week by my friend and co-worker, karen! we are feverishly working to complete TONS of work this week to prepare for our cha show. karen is omg - soooooooo sick. not ONCE did she complain this week or give me attitude or whine or anything! she's just there for me and our company to get things done. that is strength that she dug deep down for.

i pray that she's sleeping right now (i told her she could sleep next week ;) and recouping!

Let's all be inspired and DIG DEEP to find that bit of strength to get us through whatever obstacle we face today! keep your eye on that light at the end of the tunnel - believe me it's there and it shines brighter and brighter every day!

KEEP YOUR EYES ON THE STARS AND YOUR FEET ON THE GROUND

be free

2009-01-05T06:30:00.002-06:00

this morning an older song i used to (and still) love played on my ipod. it always takes me back to a moment where i felt completely free. i had a friend whose apartment was about 1 block from wrigley field. we'd go there quite often and just chill. play games, watch movies, whatever. one night we were just hangin out, lights were off, but xmas lights in full splendor. i was sitting on the floor, i think the windows were open and we had the verve blasting. lucky man was playing. it was one of my favorite moments of all time.

that may have been a while ago and those that may know of the times i'm talking about may think "yeah, that was when we hardly had any responsibility, we were young and no worries." i say, so what? all i know is that the feeling of freedom i had that night was the best feeling in the world - peaceful, happy, wonderful.

i get that feeling every now and then, like when i paint, take a walk in a forest, drive forever with the windows down. it could be that simple.

my point being - just find something every now and then that makes you feel free and don't forget to make it a habit. you and those around you will enjoy your life better for it.

peace - k

connections

2009-01-03T17:33:00.002-06:00

So I'm new to facebook -
yes we are addicted, at least I will be for the next week or so. It's amazing the 6 degrees of separation there is between my friends. What I find most amazing are those I haven't seen or spoken to in FOREVER. Mainly, from highschool. It's hard enough to get through our busy weeks and keep in touch with our super close friends, let alone the ones we used to connect with, though haven't in years. So for enabling me to connect with those that have at one time or another made me smile, facebook, I thank you :)

Let's all keep our hearts and minds open, ya never know what you might discover or who you might impact.

- k

HAPPY NEW YEAR

2009-01-01T00:37:00.002-06:00

Hello everyone! Here's to an incredible 2009 for everyone! it's been such a wonderful day and fun evening, again filled with more laughter than I can almost handle!

For 2009 - be aware, love and allow yourself to be loved and know there's nothing to really be afraid of.

Love you all and happy happy new year!!

- k

life is full of laughter

2008-12-31T01:01:00.003-06:00

Sometimes I forget the hard times Roy & I (and the rest of our family) have endured over the past year. I suppose it's because it is in both of our nature's to fight and overcome and move on. Our entire lives have seemed to be that way so each new obstacle simply presents us with a new challenge to find a solution to.

I have noticed through my healing this past 1.5 years that I seem to laugh more. At first I thought it was because some wires got crossed in my brain after the second stroke. But now, I know it's just because life is funny and I am able to notice and appreciate the hilarity of it now.

So next time you trip, spill, toot or simply can't get something to work - sit back and laugh. Lose the "huffy puffys" and give a little smirk. Or just call me and I'll tell you a funny joke - either way, your day will be brighter.

laughs - K

every soul deserves more than one mate

2008-12-30T01:06:00.002-06:00

just my thought for the day.
i have a big heart, i've lived lots of lives and i love deeply those i feel i've known before.

Blah day

2008-12-26T23:27:00.006-06:00

So I've had a bit of a blah day, and I thought, how can I feel better?

Of course, the strange thing is, I didn't really ask myself this question until now, 11:30 pm.
So now I think, perhaps I could have had a bit less of a blah day if I had asked myself that question a bit earlier, like at 11:30 am. I'm watching Adaptation for the first time. I've wanted to watch it for the first time when it first came out.

Get out of your own head for a bit and have a stretch, you might find it refreshing.

Have plug, will travel

2008-12-24T12:25:00.004-06:00

So I tried to go home yesterday, got cancelled - JUST as they were boarding my group :(. I'm happy that I found an outlet and have my power cord, I can at least work when al else fails.

However, I heard from most of you it was HORRENDOUS weather so I'm happy to be safe. Now, I'm experiencing slight delay at SFO (thought I'd tour the airports of CA), was supposed to leave at 11:15, now 12:05. So where can I pull inspiration from for us all today? Well for one, get yourself a Dairy Queen Peppermint Chocolate Chip blizzard, they're inspirational themselves ;) (the cake version up above)

Gosh this one's hard - I guess, just hang in there & enjoy what you can out of life. I've had time to myself and now will be much happier to be with those I love. The hugs from my Roy, Vegas, family and friends will be so much more welcome as I've longed for them since yesterday.

Love you all and Merry Christmas and wish me luck in being home for it :)
K

Not Always What it Seems....

2008-12-23T14:32:00.003-06:00

Hiya - once again I'm inspired by my niece and nephew (jake & sam). I do believe I think the same way they do, however in the spirit of inspiration, I think the video shows what I mean by "not always what it seems" better than any explanation I could type.

I believe there is wonderment in everything, you can make any thing or situation fun or more interesting than it seems. A simple gift of a poster is turned into 4 different things in a matter of a couple minutes in Sammy's 4 year old mind.

Create & enjoy a piece of wonderment in your day! :)

Save money this Christmas...

2008-12-21T01:53:00.004-06:00

I will always subscribe to the motto that "it really is about the simple things in life."
I have gathered tons of video clips from my niece and nephew that proves all ya need is a little bubble wrap to get you through the day. (see below)

WARM? California?

2008-12-19T22:34:00.011-06:00

Ok - beggars can't be choosers. I realize I quickly took off to leave the 10" snowstorm behind to the very warm 40-50 degree San Ramone California. I'm visiting my sis, bro-in-law and niece and nephew until Tuesday. Can't believe they haven't seen me since my wedding!!! Ok webcams really are super great, but nothing can replace a sister's hug.

I've been here a day and a half, and already sooooooo many stories from the kids (and goofy colli) that I can't fit in one post.

Inspiration of the day - you know that quote... love like you've never...blahblahblah...? Well

DANCE LIKE NO ONE IS WATCHING (see video below)

luv u all
k

What gets you through it all?

2008-12-17T23:18:00.000-06:00

Enjoying my dose of "brain candy" watching the horrible orange house county wives
whatever. Hmmm Not much inspiration from that except that I'm again, happy with the life I have.

Honestly some of them seem like they may be real to me and experience some level of real life issues, but not even close to the level that myself and some others I know have experienced. What I'm most happy about with myself is that I'm able to not think about all the "crap" every day and just overcome and move on.

That's where you find your bliss... in the things, people, or moments that help you get through the crap.

let it snow...

2008-12-16T22:04:00.000-06:00

I could really use my freezy freakies today! What an insane ride home it was, thank god Karen was behind me in her little new 4 wheeler to push me up algonquin (but don't worry mom, she didn't have to, she followed me just incase).

So it's crappy out you say, right? I say it's beautiful!!! What other state can you live in where one month you can be jumping around in the beautiful white fluffy snow with your dog and see ice glistening from the moonlight in the trees then just 1/2 a year later, be once again jumping around with your dog, but now through a sprinkler with sweat glistening on your brow and the warm sun giving you rosey cheeks?

I wouldn't have it any other way - chicago is my place to stay. If you're not here, or don't want to be...Inspiration for the day - though cliche -

Never forget to stop and smell the roses (some days, it may be all you have).

xxoo - k

coldest day ever

2008-12-15T13:12:00.000-06:00

I can't believe that I used to stand out and wait for the school bus in this weather & even more...trying to look "cool" without overlayering with the proper functional winter clothes!!!
Remember freezie freakies??? I've been searching forever to find those for adults and can't find anything!

Interventions

2008-12-14T16:37:00.000-06:00

So I love "intervention" on a&E. It's almost like "self help" ya know. Or at the very least, wow- there are people more fucked up than I am.

One thing I want to say is to any one of my friends, family or strangers that feel low or down or alone or that they're not worth anything, they're wrong. No matter what has happened in your past, or is happening now, you are important, you mean something to another thing - if that's all we have, then it's at least something.

I feel I'm on this earth to inspire people, if you need to be inspired, let me know or just keep comin' back. :)

luv u all!

(little piece of advice to those rearing our future generations - be there, listen, don't preach or force your views. Just love, protect, pay attention and be sure they know what it means to respect and be respected).

Newspaper Card

2008-12-12T20:08:00.000-06:00

So, I may be the only one who doesn't understand this, and yes Mike, if you read this, it still baffles me. At work, in our USA Today, there was what seemed to be a Christmas card. I say "seemed to be" because I didn't open it. It was addressed to some person I'd never heard of in labored handwriting. So I asked my co-worker if he'd seen it and he explained to me this...

Apparently, it's very common for your postman(person), or paper delivery person to give you a card with an envelope and you are to give them a "holiday" gift in return for their service throughout the year. Now this is not payment for doing their job this is like a gift or tip.

Don't get me wrong, I am a very giving person and have given a card to my mailman before, many times in fact. But, I find it strange that someone, who I've never met (or in some cases may have said hell0 to once or twice) to get a cash gift from me or my business simply for doing their job that they already get paid for. Okay, I get the whole gift thing, but I'm not getting a gift for my husband this year let alone my mailperson (who STILL after 3 years delivers the wrong mail).

I'm just sayin...

First Post

2008-12-12T14:05:00.000-06:00

Such an interesting title, so profound, I'm sure no one has ever thought of that for their first blog entry.
Thank you karen for helping me out.
k